* Everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work.
* The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals.
* You feel like the night before, and yo9u haven’t been anywhere.
* Your little black book contains only names ending in M.D.
* You get winded playing chess.
* Your children begin to look middle-aged.
* You finally reach the top of the ladder,and you find it leaning against
the wrong wall.
* You join a health club and don’t go.
* You begin to outlive enthusiasm
* You decide to procrastinate but never get around to it.
* Your mind makes contracts your body can’t meet.
* A dripping faucet causes uncontrollable bladder urge.
* You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.
* You look forward to a dull evening.
* You walk with your head held high trying to get used to your bifocals.
* Your favourite part of the newspaper is "Twenty-five Years Ago Today."
* You turn out the light for economic rather than romantic reasons.
...
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